Friday, December 5, 2008


If you know me, you know that I struggle on a daily basis with many demons. But the most recent and the one most weighing on my heart is my job as a mother. Being a mother is the only thing I ever really dreamed about doing. Yeah, as a kid I wanted to be a teacher (and I became one), I had other ideas like nurse and artist (hah), but really in my soul all I wanted to do was be a mommy.

So now that I'm a mommy, 3 times over, why is it so hard? Is it just me or is it just this hard. Don't get me wrong, I really would not change it for the world, my kids and my husband are the most important things in my life and I adore and love them all with more than words can describe. That being said, I continue to ask why is it so hard, should it be this hard, am I making it harder than it should be, am I as crazy as I feel?

Really I have it far easier than I lot of people. I have a very supportive and loving husband who is my partner in parenting. My kids are healthy, happy and overall good kids. I should be counting my blessings over and over, but no I struggle. I get angry, I yell, I am not as patient as I should be and overall I feel like I should spend more time loving my children, being with them and nurturing their little souls. My therapist, yes therapist, says I am far too hard on myself, is this true? Is this a mommy thing? or a Molly thing?

To end on a postive note, as I am trying to continually do, I would like to be grateful for the many blessings that God has bestowed on me. But the best blessings ever given to me are below:



Robyn said...

So glad to see you here! You and I both struggle with some of the same demons, dear! I can relate to this post immensely! I have found, we are not alone...we are just open (bold) enough to say that sometimes this "mothering" thing totally sucks and is totally difficult and we wonder if we should have chosen a different path. Bringing light and verse to the feelings that so many women have is a powerful thing! Keep at it! Women grow and change when other women are big enough, strong enough, and bold enough to speak truth! ;-)

ewheatley said...

I have gone through the same thing. Especially recently. I never knew being an adult was going to be this hard. When the girls were really little I went to a Mom's group where I learned it is okay to feel this way w/o people thinking you are crazy. And it helps to get your feelings out there. You will find that there are many more that feel this way

girlsmom2 said...

Add me to the list. I feel this way too, sometimes I feel very overwhelmed and completely stressed out. I got divorced 2 yrs ago when my girls were 2 and 4, although their dad sees them, I am the one raising them. I work fulltime and they are my responsibilty with the exception of every other weekend when they are at their dads. It can be exhausting but SOOO rewarding. In the end I know that I am the only one (in my case) really responsible for how they turn out and I'm tring to give them the best life I can, to raise them in a Christian home with the morals and values that they will have for a lifetime. Being a mom is the most rewarding, and important job we will have.